If it hasn't become overwhelmingly apparent over the last few months, our country has taken an new and more extreme look into the world of bullying. When it comes down to, we are all guilty of some type of bullying. Intentional or not, we are, I myself am guilty of it but have also been the victim.
When faced with the thought, I came to the conclusion that those who bullied me only pushed me to extract my revenge on someone that I decided to bully. Sure I'm not proud of it, but it happened and sometimes still does. What gets me are the ones with the inferiority complex that feel they have to pick on someone to prove that they are better then them. Its not enough that they try and show there dominance but the fact that once they realize how easy it is, they keep coming. I got picked on my fair share of the time, and I picked on other people in turn, its a fact of life that happened. I think the seriousness of the problem doesn't lie so much with the bulling itself, its the reaction of the bullying from the bullied.
As I said before, most bullies will keep it coming once they see it gets to you, keeping the pressure on you at there own pleasure. They don't see the emotional effect that it has created on the one less fortunate. All to often recently you hear about teens committing suicide because of constant bullying. Kids drop out of school so they don't have to deal with the daily pressure of being laughed at or mocked, or so far as being beaten and spit on. I don't know how I will prepare myself as a parent for when my son steps into that ring. Since I've been on both sides, I see now the right from the wrong, but I'm not sure how to convey that to him. Connor will have to learn his own lessons, this maybe being the biggest of them all.
I think where I have a problem is, why must people constantly prove themselves to be better then each other, why do we have to have this gladiator complex in which we must destroy all those weaker then us? I know I'm probably preaching to the choir but what other choice is there. lets face it, until people learn respect for one another its never going to change and until parents teach there kids both by lessons and by example this will never change, and teens out there will still be killing themselves needlessly. As parents we should take an interest into our children, know whats going on in there lives, see how there body language is changing, and always ask questions. If you have an open relationship with your children where they are not afraid to talk to you, then you can help them deal with there problems so it doesn't come to the inevitable.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't punish your children/teens, but when you are having issues we shouldn't lash out and attack them as if they need to be threatened to learn anything. sure they need to be disciplined but I feel that an open relationship where they feel they can come to you with there problems would go a long way in relieving the stress that's put on there lives. We all know what its like being that age, maybe the hardest time of our lives, constant pressure from parents, friends, teachers, etc. but whats most important is that we as parents try to recognize the struggle within them and help guide them through it.
About 10-15 years ago I was in that spot, i was bullied, i was made fun of, and I had no one to talk to. So instead of try to deal with it, I lashed out on other people in ways I would rather not describe, but I did and I'm not proud of it. It took me a long time to realize the error of my ways and looking back I can only hope the things I did will one day be forgiven. Perhaps even harder for me is forgiving the ones who bullied me. To this day I must say I still hold grudges, and I don't ever know if ill let them go. I'm sure the people I hurt feel the same way, and I don't blame them.
"To error is human, to forgive is Divine" this is a saying I heard recently, and it speaks to me a bit. Forgiveness, now this is a challenging proposition, and one I have never really been good at, which I guess proves the saying "to forgive is Divine". I'm not exactly godly now am I, and so I realize that neither is anyone else. Ill never forgive anyone should anything happen to my child because of, or as a result of, being bullied, least of all myself. If I fail at the part of my life that I HAVE to be 100% at, to show him whats right and whats wrong and to never let himself be bullied or watch anyone else be bullied. then I'm a failure as a parent and it will be because of me that I will have suffered or had to watch my child suffer. In the end its not about us as adults, because help for us is all but lost, its about the kids and teaching them to make tomorrow a better place. We can lead by example and use our life's lessons to help them learn theirs.
There is an anti-bully campaign that's out there right now that has a slogan and that slogan is "BE A STAR, Show Tolerance And Respect" this should be a lesson to all of us, and maybe in a few years we will hear less and less about suicides of teens being bullied and more about friendship spawning in the strangest of places, people helping people, and the general improvement of life for all of us. I for one, can only hope to feel the winds of change.
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