There is something to be said for the athlete, amature or professional, that deals with the pressure of there given sport with grace. We as normal human beings often don't understand what the mental and physical drain it can be to be put in a high pressure situation, especially in a team sport atmosphere. This past week everyone obviously saw the Baltimore ravens kicker billy cundif crash under the pressure of a game tieing kick at the end of regulation in the AFC championship. Ill admit, all week I was pretty hard on the guy, saying things like, your a professional athlete and you should be used to the pressure and you should know how to deal with it.
Well last night I got my own lesson in pressure. For those of you who don't know I'm a pretty avid bowler, weekly league and sometimes subbing on Saturday nights, and I have had my fair share of pressure moments when it comes to trying to help my team come out on top and win each game. I have been pretty good in those situations and usually I fair pretty well. Last night though was a different story, It wasn't so much the pressure of helping my team win, it was pressure to achieve a personal goal. after one game I had a 240, decent game and I felt pretty good, got lucky in some spots but ill take it, and my team won behind me. Then came the second game, and I started well, striking on the first ball and I was off to the races. 10 strikes later I stood on the line, 1 strike shy of a perfect game.
It is very hard to describe the feeling of standing up to the line, looking down the alley and knowing that if you get a strike, you have a perfect game, something that has been a personal goal of mine since I started bowling about 7 years ago. My hands were shaking, my legs felt like they were going to give out, and the world just seemed like a blur. I couldn't catch my breath and was trying to take deep breaths to relax. Its the most pressure I have ever been under in my life as an athlete in any sport that I've played. So I get set, a little quicker then usual, and I'm off, a little quicker then usual, and I let the ball go, a little farther out then usual, ball hooks, hits the pocket, and I leave the 8 pin standing. 299, I turn to lots of people in the alley congratulating me and telling me what a great game I had, but deep down inside I wish I could have the shot back, to come up one pin short was really hard to take. Suffice to say I throw 4 strikes to start the 3rd game and end with a 234. I finished my night with a 773 set, highest I have ever bowled.
While I'm very proud of myself for getting to where I did, there is that part of me that keeps saying, next time, your going to bury the last ball and walk away with a 300, a perfect game. So I pack up my stuff and head home, of course as I try to sleep the last ball keeps running through my head. Well now I have had some time to reflect. There are some really good bowlers out there, but there are not a lot of bowlers that can say they have ever bowled a 299 or a 773 set. So I'm very proud of the fact that yeah, I caved under the pressure a bit, but I came so close to my goal and now I know I can get that goal. who knows when I will have that chance again, but I plan to make the most of it when I do.
As far as pressure for the individual goes, I can see somewhat now what it is like for a pitcher to be three outs from a perfect game, or a golfer a putt away from a championship, or a kicker a field goal away from a win or loss, or a hockey goalie a save away from the win. The next time I watch one of the guys in my league try for a 300 I will fully understand the amount of pressure he is feeling. A guy said to me last night, "the last one is always the hardest", that goes to for kicks, outs, goals, or putts. As athletes, we are prone to high pressure situations, no one wants to fail, but we do, and we learn from that failure. So cundiff is officially off my shit list, The pressure I felt is nothing compared to the pressure he was feeling, I'm sure, and I have a new respect for that pressure, it wasn't fun.
In the end I have learned there are no limitations to what we can do as individuals, goals are there for us to achieve them, and when we surpass them, we make bigger goals. for me, its a 300, which in due time ill have another shot, after last night, I have added a new goal, an 800 series. 27 pins shy is hard to take, but an accomplishment none the less. I also know that even as an individual accomplishment, it would have been hard without the support of my team, and that in order to achieve individual goals in a team sport, you will always need alittle help from others. Just the mental support was a great help from them last night, and for that i am really grateful.
In the end, before we demand the head of an athlete that folds under the pressure and doesn't come through, just try and imagine the pressure that is on them at the moment, how hard the heart is racing, weak the legs and arms are, how the world seems to be spinning, you can try to compose yourself all you want but there just isn't enough in each individual to compose all there emotion. sure some are good at it, but even the best cave every once in awhile. Put yourself in there shoes for a minute and try to understand what they are feeling, I know from now on I will. for me, I cant wait to feel that pressure again, cause then I will know, Ive gotten my second chance at redemption.
Wish I could have been there! Great post!
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